Bitter

As I drank my black coffee I was hoping that the bitter taste would console me. But it did not.

That maybe there could be something more distasteful than my life right now. I couldn't be more wrong.

For how can there be anything more agonizing? I cannot feel any more pain than this. Yet, I cannot stop hurting.

And it does not erase the fact that my life is as shitty as I think it is. And I am as empty as I think I am.

What could be worse than living this life? What could be worse when you know whats in store for you and you can do nothing - but wait?

Questions. I've got so many questions. But thats not the problem.

The problem is the answer. The answer that I will have to wait for.
And every day it kills me - just a little bit more.

Alone I break

It is freaky how it is human nature to want to reach out to other people.
After so long.

So many years - have i forgotten what its like? To let my guard down. Just a little bit.

After all that running away. I'm so tired.

After building all those walls, they're finally closing in on me. I am alone.

And I don't want to be. Not anymore.