Choices
Sometimes I don't know if I'm happy with my job.
Before anyone berates me for being lucky enough to have a job, i'd like to say that I do of course, realize that I am fortunate compared to starving people in Africa and am thankful that I'm not poor and do not have problems that come from being jobless.
I had talked about being overworked. I had talked about how I am much better off now. About how i can leave work on time. That is all true but to a certain extent I'm not sure if I'm really happier. I'm not sure if i'm really much better than before.
I am paid much more now but seriously I feel money does not always constitute career satisfaction. Many of you out there may disagree with me. For me, career satisfaction is not only derived from being paid my worth but also existing job challenges that will keep pushing me to the next level. To learn new things. And of course, to grow as a person.
But not this job.
No offence to other Administrators and Office Managers, but sometimes I feel I'm doing a no-brainer job. I'm supposed to manage the office - a new unstructured environment, putting in processes and new systems but most of the time i am just meandering by completing the most basic office duties.
My previous job had been an important position where I could make earth-shattering decisions. So how do I feel empowered to do my job when all i do each day is answer calls? Pay some bills. Order some stuff. Print and bind. Filing. Run errands. Repeat the whole process ten times. Can anybody understand how I feel?
And whenever I feel like this, the same old thing always comes to mind.
Before i left my previous job, I had gone to a wise old man to seek advice. I am calling him the wise old man cos he's like a fortune-teller and advisor.
Wise old man does not tell you anything which you do not ask. So even if he sees that you are going to die, he will not tell you that, unless you ask "Am i going to die?". Maybe its against the fortune telling laws, that only he knows. Lol.
And he too, will not tell you everything that he sees. And no, there isn't a crystal ball. Just some funny beads with strange inscriptions on it.
Well I know this sounds crazy and I know that many of you may not believe what I'm going to say - but he had been accurate. More than I care to admit.
In August last year I was supposed to meet a guy. I was very excited at the thought of meeting someone new in my life. That I got excited even one month before that.
August came and went. I did not meet anyone new.
On the 1st week of September, I got introduced to a guy by one of my friends. Later, i found out that this guy was supposed to visit Singapore in August, but he kept changing his flights so he ended up travelling to Singapore only in Sep. He was Mr August!
And there were many other things wise old man told me, like my health condition, my love life. Things only I knew. Things i had kept to myself.
So before I made plans to quit my job, I had gone to him about my job concerns. Twice. And each time he had told me the same thing. He said not to quit. He said I will find a job in March 2006. He said I should be patient.
At that time, unhappiness drove me to a point where I told myself that I could change fate. Even if what he said would come true. That I was the one who would decide where my life was going. And no one else.
He had told me to wait. I did not wait.
And sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.
Before anyone berates me for being lucky enough to have a job, i'd like to say that I do of course, realize that I am fortunate compared to starving people in Africa and am thankful that I'm not poor and do not have problems that come from being jobless.
I had talked about being overworked. I had talked about how I am much better off now. About how i can leave work on time. That is all true but to a certain extent I'm not sure if I'm really happier. I'm not sure if i'm really much better than before.
I am paid much more now but seriously I feel money does not always constitute career satisfaction. Many of you out there may disagree with me. For me, career satisfaction is not only derived from being paid my worth but also existing job challenges that will keep pushing me to the next level. To learn new things. And of course, to grow as a person.
But not this job.
No offence to other Administrators and Office Managers, but sometimes I feel I'm doing a no-brainer job. I'm supposed to manage the office - a new unstructured environment, putting in processes and new systems but most of the time i am just meandering by completing the most basic office duties.
My previous job had been an important position where I could make earth-shattering decisions. So how do I feel empowered to do my job when all i do each day is answer calls? Pay some bills. Order some stuff. Print and bind. Filing. Run errands. Repeat the whole process ten times. Can anybody understand how I feel?
And whenever I feel like this, the same old thing always comes to mind.
Before i left my previous job, I had gone to a wise old man to seek advice. I am calling him the wise old man cos he's like a fortune-teller and advisor.
Wise old man does not tell you anything which you do not ask. So even if he sees that you are going to die, he will not tell you that, unless you ask "Am i going to die?". Maybe its against the fortune telling laws, that only he knows. Lol.
And he too, will not tell you everything that he sees. And no, there isn't a crystal ball. Just some funny beads with strange inscriptions on it.
Well I know this sounds crazy and I know that many of you may not believe what I'm going to say - but he had been accurate. More than I care to admit.
In August last year I was supposed to meet a guy. I was very excited at the thought of meeting someone new in my life. That I got excited even one month before that.
August came and went. I did not meet anyone new.
On the 1st week of September, I got introduced to a guy by one of my friends. Later, i found out that this guy was supposed to visit Singapore in August, but he kept changing his flights so he ended up travelling to Singapore only in Sep. He was Mr August!
And there were many other things wise old man told me, like my health condition, my love life. Things only I knew. Things i had kept to myself.
So before I made plans to quit my job, I had gone to him about my job concerns. Twice. And each time he had told me the same thing. He said not to quit. He said I will find a job in March 2006. He said I should be patient.
At that time, unhappiness drove me to a point where I told myself that I could change fate. Even if what he said would come true. That I was the one who would decide where my life was going. And no one else.
He had told me to wait. I did not wait.
And sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.
Posted by Miss Jes at 5:45 pm
9 Comments:
ooh, that's creepy! So how did it work out with Mr. August???
I hope this doesn't repeat, but I'm having trouble leaving a comment:
Work takes up many hours of our lives, more than we spend at home with loved ones. Life is too short not to do something you love.
This happened with me as well. I was in main office where I had lot of responsibilities but due to some reason I took transfer to the branch office in other city. Here my responsibilities are less, sometimes I also feel the way you do but the good thing happen with me is that now I leave office on time. In my main office, I used to work late and so much of work pressure was there. Now I really relax and enjoy the life, although the job satisfication is not there but I have no grudges since I am enjoying my freedom of leaving office on time.
In the end it's really about what you want and what suits you best at the present time. It's a fine balancing act between what you want, what you need and what you actually get, choose wisely.
Just remember that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, the sun will still rise from the east and set in the west. It's just another choice in life, like chicken or beef; coffee or tea. DOn't let it bug you too much. Stay if you are willing, quit if you feel like leaving :)
would you mind telling me where to find this old wise guy? Hehehe
Don't we all wonder about thr choices we made...
the never ending what ifs...
I gotta be honest, I don't know many people who like their jobs.
I liked my last job. Hated the fact I had to leave. ;)
CLicked on your blog via SBP.
Maybe you can read up on this short story that was supposedly passed down from a great philantophist to his son in ancient China. It's more or less like a Buddhist lore or Aseop's fables but based on true stories...anyway it's called "The 4 lessons of Liao Fan"
Hmm am not really trying to be evangelising here just thought some of the stories inside can be quite relevant to your experience, here's a link: http://www.buddhanet.net/liaofans.htm
Dawn - Yea creepy. We are good friends. :)
Jamie - I need to start weighing whether I love this job enough to hang around.
Nidhi - Thing is i'm not just happy leaving work on time. I want to have my cake and eat it as well.
Unknown - Makes sense but i guess its not that easy to just quit like that. My boss is a really great guy. Besides I don't wanna look like a leaping job-hopper!
i luv lavendar - Email me.
fuckkit - I love 50% of my last job.
Ted - All i can say is God answers prayers - but not always in the way expected.
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