Stolen Memory
Yesterday I had gone to Vie Bar to catch up with my best friend. It was her birthday and I know that I HAD to go out with her or I'll get killed somewhere along the course of our friendship. I am taking a well-deserved guilt trip here cos I have not been spending time with her.
And over wine, we had reflected on the good old times and the latest happenings in our lives. It always feels good to go out with someone close. Such comfort to be able to just sit back and enjoy effortless conversation. No pretensions. No barriers. Even after so many rough patches.
I also think my best friend secretly enjoys getting me drunk. Because she made me drink more than half a bottle of wine by myself.
And after wine, I had wanted to drink some more. See, the problem with me is that once I drink a little bit more than I should, there's no turning back. I will have the need to get sloshed or I cannot sleep.
So we headed to town and met up with two more friends. More drinks and 2 hours later it was total amnesia for me. I recall scraps here and there.
Like how i had stared into his eyes while he was talking but what was it that he said? No trace of conversations in my head.
Like how we had supper but what in the world did we talk about? I don't remember.
This may sound weird but I imagine my memory to be this white piece of paper, full of black doodles that means something, yet nothing.
How I got myself home is one amazing thing. To manage to undress, remove my make up, and check my email before i hopped on to bed was another. And to not remember any of that is freaking scary. I must have also eaten a cow for supper for I sure as hell felt like one when I woke up!
Today morning one friend tried to fuck with my memory.
"Do you know that you told us you like him"?
"No i did not. I don't like him".
But then again, i'm not so sure. Whether i said that. Whether i like him. Alcohol stolen memory...sucks.
I don't know when was the last time I felt this reckless. Getting sloshed in the mid week. Not giving a damn whether I could get up for work the next day. Living just for the moment.
And for some strange reason, it felt good.
And over wine, we had reflected on the good old times and the latest happenings in our lives. It always feels good to go out with someone close. Such comfort to be able to just sit back and enjoy effortless conversation. No pretensions. No barriers. Even after so many rough patches.
I also think my best friend secretly enjoys getting me drunk. Because she made me drink more than half a bottle of wine by myself.
And after wine, I had wanted to drink some more. See, the problem with me is that once I drink a little bit more than I should, there's no turning back. I will have the need to get sloshed or I cannot sleep.
So we headed to town and met up with two more friends. More drinks and 2 hours later it was total amnesia for me. I recall scraps here and there.
Like how i had stared into his eyes while he was talking but what was it that he said? No trace of conversations in my head.
Like how we had supper but what in the world did we talk about? I don't remember.
This may sound weird but I imagine my memory to be this white piece of paper, full of black doodles that means something, yet nothing.
How I got myself home is one amazing thing. To manage to undress, remove my make up, and check my email before i hopped on to bed was another. And to not remember any of that is freaking scary. I must have also eaten a cow for supper for I sure as hell felt like one when I woke up!
Today morning one friend tried to fuck with my memory.
"Do you know that you told us you like him"?
"No i did not. I don't like him".
But then again, i'm not so sure. Whether i said that. Whether i like him. Alcohol stolen memory...sucks.
I don't know when was the last time I felt this reckless. Getting sloshed in the mid week. Not giving a damn whether I could get up for work the next day. Living just for the moment.
And for some strange reason, it felt good.
Posted by Miss Jes at 12:50 pm
5 Comments:
I love the white paper with black doodles analogy. That is awesome!
you know this sounds eerily like my post about my weekend; don't you.... :)
Yup, sometimes you just need to embrace the blackouts. They're a gift too, in their own little blank way.
Came across your 'Sales people can be morons' post.
I work as a temporary sales promoter. Maybe i can offer you an alternative perspective that i have on most Singaporean customers.
http://alchemistglobetrekker.blogspot.com/2005/12/singapore-service-standard-part-i.html
fyrchk - gee...thanx. They are still black doodles btw. :)
Dawn - Does that mean we're getting old or just plain old drunkards...lol.
Jay - Blackouts are fun but sometimes I wonder what REALLY happened?
Calvin - your post is interesting enough, but not exactly relevant. Thanx for dropping by.
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