Changes

I know I have not blogged for the longest time. Forgive me - for I have been too preoccupied to trace back all my footprints.

So many things have happened. Of course nothing major like someone dying or anything to that effect - but in general CHANGES.

Changes in my life. Changes in my train of thoughts. In my fiery temperament. Most importantly, my lifestyle.

So many changes that if i were to take a step back and try and recap, i would not have known how I ended up there in the first place.

Just how did I quit smoking? Or let me rephrase the famous question - how do i survive NOT smoking?

What got into me that I ended up going to the gym? Where is that part of me which hates sweating it out?

I could never handle body massages - i never liked strangers touching me. Now I'm a fan of Aroma body massages and body scrubs. This weekend I'm trying out a sugar scrub and maybe afters I'll tell you all about it.

Suddenly, my favourite colour black isn't my favourite anymore. Don't ask me how I discovered white. And red and brown. Or gold. Did I mention Pink already?

I wear my hair short now, with bangs framing my face. Time travel back to last year and I would have beaten myself up. It has always been "My curls, my curls, my lovely luvly...curls - check it out". (sing to "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas).

I now say "please" and "thank you" but not because Nanny McPhee cast a spell on me. Because being polite feels good.

And being kind and friendly too. Like chatting with taxi drivers every morning. And doing a favour for the office cleaning lady because it'll make her day.

And beginning my day with a smile. I've also officially passed the "Grouch" title to someone else.

I don't just drink wine - I am now on my way to becoming a wine connoisseur. Not because its stylish or posh - knowledge is power.

I am into palmistry and I would love to read your palmprint for free. Simply bcos i'm quite tired of staring at my own palm and those of my friends.

I am into gadgets and though I'm not a certified techie, sometimes you'll wonder if i'm really a woman.

I have always endorsed a UK education but now I'm considering finishing up my degree in an Australian University.

One of the biggest dreams that I am close to today - is swimming. I am currently learning and am no longer as afraid of the waters as I used to be. A bit more history on this one.

I frequently have dreams of swimming. Sometimes I'll be a professional swimmer and I'll be freely swimming in strokes that I'm totally clueless about. Sometimes the dream's a bit more tricky - I'll be stranded somewhere and in order to survive, I'll have to tread on a rope across the water that bridges another island.

My dreams were always so vivid and accompanied by the fear of drowning, I had all these years recognized it as a phobia of swimming. But little did I know it was in fact my sub-conscious desire to swim, that brought about those dreams.

Today I am able to float and "trap water" (as the best friend puts it) and I feel closer to swimming than I have ever been in my life.

There are many more changes I would love to rattle off my head but its more than slightly past midnight and I can't do without my sleep. Since when? God knows.

So many changes over a short period of time that I am quite frightened of the person I have become. Just who is she?

She, who has swept me off my feet and taken me by storm.

She, who has accomplished things in months - things the old me couldn't do in years.

She, who is taking control of my life - getting me into shape and kicking away my vices.

Is this a phase I'm going through? Just what are the dynamics behind these changes? To learn to be officially in love with - MYSELF?!

I don't know yet. I don't know why. But I do know I'm enjoying the ride - while it lasts.