Psychology of Smoking
Smoking is fun, and if it weren't harmful to my health i would have been smoking as I blog this entry. But i am not, bcos lately, I've been experiencing the shortness in breath, how easily i tire and chest pains to signal that i might die soon. REAL soon. Not forgetting the stains on my teeth - they are an ugly reminder that I am a smoker.
At this point, I have been on "cold-turkey" for the past 13 days. And let me tell you, i feel like I'm on pins. Just 5 mins ago, i was imagining myself smoking and it felt so real. I was battling with my inner self whether i should just go out and buy myself a pack of Marlboro Menthol. Instead, i popped a sweet in my mouth. It then somewhat occurred to me that maybe people don't quit smoking because they don't like how they'll feel not smoking. I am a living example who tells you this now - believe me, abstination is a terrible feeling.
I realized saying no to cigarettes has somehow altered my life. Bit by bit, these changes take shape.
I used to go out and take all the smoke breaks in the world. And after food, i'll be full and contented smoking my life away. Smoking has always been an excuse for me to relax, to take "that break", to get away from work for that small amount of time. Don't you find it "weird" to take a walk instead? In my world, nobody in their right mind - simply walks! These days i sit in my chair and stare into space. And after food, I stare at my colleagues. They in turn stare back at me. Because nobody smokes you see. Besides its too abrupt to immediately get up after finishing your meal.
Smoking is like a reward for myself after accommplishing something, be it the completion of assignment or even a minor task like eating dinner. Once i'm done, i'll smoke. I also believe smoking is an adult version of our childhood habits. When we're kids, we always get to munch something such as lollipops, chocolates or sweets, its simply an oral pleasure.
Smoking is also akin to a time indicator - whether i'm finished or need to get started on something. I'm going to miss saying "Lets smoke one more before we go" and "I'm finished with stuff, lets puff". They're like the famous smoker's line.
With a cigarette, i also realize I'm never alone. I'm not being dramatic here but a cigarette is like a good friend that never goes away. Nobody ever tells you when you walk into a room "You look upset. Did you fight with your cigarette?" Never. Thats because you don't have any disagreements with your cigarette. Its a friend, that makes it bearable when someone is late. A companion, while waiting for someone in a club. A weapon, to hurt someone when you're pissed off. All the qualities you find in a good friend.
I also think smoking is always associated with some memory. Maybe its because when one is smoking, one is always thinking. Do you remember the first cigarette you had? I do. My uncle didn't finish his cigarette and i sort of - helped. :) I also remember one time i sat down with my best friend and we smoked a pack of cigarettes within 15 mins. We were obviously not crazy - that was just our way of dealing with trauma. Doesn't smoking help everyone to relax?
I love leaning back on my sofa, legs stretched out, blowing my troubles away. Such fulfilment to smoke and think of nothing. Watching swirls of smoke itself is a fascination. The art of blowing rings of smoke one after another, its only something smokers will understand.
I find it weird that my girlfriend smokes Marlboro Lights. I mean who in their right mind would smoke such awful cigarettes? Belch. But i realized cigarette taste has to be acquired. I remember vividly it was only after smoking 5 sticks of Semporna that i thought it tasted alright. That is obviously an advantage for tobacco companies cos it takes longer for a smoker to switch brands. The real reason for "brand loyalty".
Tough job ain't it? With all these reasons that serve as justification why people continue to smoke. Not for me. i mean I would love to smoke NOW...but i am going to be good. I am going to resist. After all, there are all these chocolates on my table that need eating.
Gonna miss you baby.
At this point, I have been on "cold-turkey" for the past 13 days. And let me tell you, i feel like I'm on pins. Just 5 mins ago, i was imagining myself smoking and it felt so real. I was battling with my inner self whether i should just go out and buy myself a pack of Marlboro Menthol. Instead, i popped a sweet in my mouth. It then somewhat occurred to me that maybe people don't quit smoking because they don't like how they'll feel not smoking. I am a living example who tells you this now - believe me, abstination is a terrible feeling.
I realized saying no to cigarettes has somehow altered my life. Bit by bit, these changes take shape.
I used to go out and take all the smoke breaks in the world. And after food, i'll be full and contented smoking my life away. Smoking has always been an excuse for me to relax, to take "that break", to get away from work for that small amount of time. Don't you find it "weird" to take a walk instead? In my world, nobody in their right mind - simply walks! These days i sit in my chair and stare into space. And after food, I stare at my colleagues. They in turn stare back at me. Because nobody smokes you see. Besides its too abrupt to immediately get up after finishing your meal.
Smoking is like a reward for myself after accommplishing something, be it the completion of assignment or even a minor task like eating dinner. Once i'm done, i'll smoke. I also believe smoking is an adult version of our childhood habits. When we're kids, we always get to munch something such as lollipops, chocolates or sweets, its simply an oral pleasure.
Smoking is also akin to a time indicator - whether i'm finished or need to get started on something. I'm going to miss saying "Lets smoke one more before we go" and "I'm finished with stuff, lets puff". They're like the famous smoker's line.
With a cigarette, i also realize I'm never alone. I'm not being dramatic here but a cigarette is like a good friend that never goes away. Nobody ever tells you when you walk into a room "You look upset. Did you fight with your cigarette?" Never. Thats because you don't have any disagreements with your cigarette. Its a friend, that makes it bearable when someone is late. A companion, while waiting for someone in a club. A weapon, to hurt someone when you're pissed off. All the qualities you find in a good friend.
I also think smoking is always associated with some memory. Maybe its because when one is smoking, one is always thinking. Do you remember the first cigarette you had? I do. My uncle didn't finish his cigarette and i sort of - helped. :) I also remember one time i sat down with my best friend and we smoked a pack of cigarettes within 15 mins. We were obviously not crazy - that was just our way of dealing with trauma. Doesn't smoking help everyone to relax?
I love leaning back on my sofa, legs stretched out, blowing my troubles away. Such fulfilment to smoke and think of nothing. Watching swirls of smoke itself is a fascination. The art of blowing rings of smoke one after another, its only something smokers will understand.
I find it weird that my girlfriend smokes Marlboro Lights. I mean who in their right mind would smoke such awful cigarettes? Belch. But i realized cigarette taste has to be acquired. I remember vividly it was only after smoking 5 sticks of Semporna that i thought it tasted alright. That is obviously an advantage for tobacco companies cos it takes longer for a smoker to switch brands. The real reason for "brand loyalty".
Tough job ain't it? With all these reasons that serve as justification why people continue to smoke. Not for me. i mean I would love to smoke NOW...but i am going to be good. I am going to resist. After all, there are all these chocolates on my table that need eating.
Gonna miss you baby.
Posted by Miss Jes at 5:11 pm
3 Comments:
In my collegues words, "You quit ciggies but not your ciggy breaks huh?"
Hang on there, after 3 weeks ciggy neglect it becomes way easier.
Marlboro lights awful? I've been smoking that for the past 5 years. Attempts to change was futile.
Unknown - i have to say up till now i still get ciggy cravings on and off and the duration between these cravings are much longer - now its days before i get another craving attack. I know this is gonna sound cliche - but you can do it too! Lol. :)
;) I had my last ciggy, with beer on the evening of October 14th 2005
Carvings i get nowadays are so mild that all I need to do is to drink a glass of water.
Good luck to you too, hang in there!
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